Monday, October 01, 2012

Careers

I realized the other day that I have stayed home full time with my children longer now than I ever had any career.  I got married fairly young-I was only 23 and only 2 years out of college.  I had been at my first "real job" just over a year when we got married.  Anne surprised us (well-we tried for her but didn't expect her to come on that first try!) and entered the world just 11.5 months after we got married!  I went back to work part time and it was a perfect compromise for me.  I like staying busy and I always had thought one child wouldn't be enough to keep me busy enough.  I was right so 2 full days a week at an office plus a few hours at home was the perfect compromise for us.  I kept busy and social and I was still able to spend a lot of time with my little girl.  However, as she got closer to her her 2nd birthday I became more and more unhappy at work.  John and I endlessly discussed it, hoping I could stay at work another 8 months, 6 months, even just another month.  But the longer I tried to keep working the more unhappy I became.  One day, just a few months after wanting to quit, I woke up and realized I could not stay one more day at work.  I told John I would give my 2 week notice that day and I did.  It was a quick surprise for every one involved but it was truly the only choice for me to make.  Two weeks later I was a full time mom.  It wound up working out perfectly since only 2 weeks later I got pregnant with Jamie and he proceeded to suck every ounce of energy out of me-I spent half of each day on the couch sleeping during my pregnancy with him!

That was 4 years and 4 months ago.  I was at my first, and only, real job for 4 years 2 months.  As I realize how long I've been home and how much longer I want to be home (at least another 6 years if we didn't have another baby and we will!) I am so grateful I get to do this.  Yes it is beyond the hardest job in the world.  Yes every day I wish I was as lucky as my husband to have a stash of sick days-but mamas don't get sick days.  And yes I am usually pushed and pulled emotionally farther than I think I can go.  But every single day, without fail, I look back and am grateful I get to do this.  I truly couldn't imagine doing it any other way.

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