Wednesday, February 16, 2011

To my true Half-Pint

Dear little guy or girl in there-
Today I am 16 weeks pregnant with you. Unlike your brother and sister, you have yet to have a single word written about you. Believe my little one, it's not for lack of caring about you or loving you, its simply life taking over. But I think about you every day, I feel for you moving every day, I listen to your heart beating all the time, and I even dream about you. (So far once as a boy, once as a girl-so which one is it?) Your pregnancy has been so different than your brother's and sister's. The first 10 weeks or so I was sicker with you than I have been with either kid. Yet I was able to eat anything I wanted. Except coffee and sweets. Which stunk because it was November and December, prime time for both but just a few tastes of either and I was done. Despite eating whatever I wanted, like I said, I was sicker with you than with the others. I felt pretty good between breakfast and lunch but after lunch I'd generally start feeling bad, which would get worse and worse until dinner and at that point I'd star to feel better. I only threw up a few times but there were nights that if I didn't know better, my stomach felt so bad, I'd have sworn I had the stomach flu.
Now that I'm 16 weeks, I actually don't feel pregnant at all! Let me clarify that. I have heartburn. I can't bend over very well. And my hips hurt in that way that only a baby growing inside can make them hurt. My workouts are loads harder than without a baby inside. I sleep very well at night. But other than that, I don't even feel pregnant! Finally, with the third baby, I am getting the second trimester energy! I run after your brother and sister like it's nothing. Jamie, all 30 pounds of him at not even 2 years old, I haul up on my hip (which by the way, he's become quite attached to me the past few weeks. Someone said it was because he knows your coming....) I run errands, clean the house, play with your brother and sister and then sometimes in the middle of it all, I remember that I have you inside and I'm shocked. I cannot believe that you are in there! Despite my growing stomach and hearing your heartbeat, I really can't believe you are in there! I wonder what I will start to feel in the next few weeks as you get bigger and start to move...
So let me catch up and tell you what Anne and Jamie think of you. Anne is almost 5 years old. She turns 5 in 2 more months. She feels my stomach occasionally and wishes desperately for a sister. But she's a 5 year old girl deep into princesses, so forgive her if you're a boy. I think she is going to be so very excited to feel you kick, maybe to see you being born, and to get to hold you and help me take care of you. Jamie turns 2 in a week. He, being only 2, is surprisingly attached to you. He pulls up my shirt all the time, points to my stomach and says "Baby!" He even kisses my stomach and tries to show you toys. I've held friend's babies recently and he really gets quite jealous, but once someone else is holding them, he can't get enough. He constantly points out the babies, pats their heads, talks to them. I think he might have a rough time adjusting to you, but hopefully already sharing me with his sister will help him adjust. Plus, he is very affectionate already with you and with babies so I have high hopes that after a little bi he'll be as smitten as we all will be.
Daddy and I are excited to see you growing and meet you! We cannot believe we will have 3 kids soon! We have no idea what that is like nor do we have a reference point. 2 kids seemed quite do-able but three seems hard. I have a feeling we'll adjust well and quickly though. Anne will start kindergarten soon after you arrive, so I'll only have 2 kids for part of the day every day. Jamie will be 2 and a half when you get here and he and Anne already play so well together that I'm hoping that will continue, so that I can spend the time I need to with you without feeling like I'm depriving him. But the logistics of getting 3 children ready and out the door seem hard. The thought of having 2 kids running and one helpless seem scary. But what a blessing from God you are so I know that we will be fine-not just fine-but happy and thriving.
So little one, don't let lack of writing about you make you feel less of anything. We love you already. We tried for you and we are excited to welcome you into our family in 5 months.
Love you already.
PS. You are the size of an avocado today! So big yet so small!

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