Friday, February 17, 2012

A love letter to Jamie near Valentin's Day

Dear Jamie,

You are my sweet little boy. My "Handsome". My "Buddy". How I love you. I remember when I was pregnant with you and I so wanted a girl. Anne was such an amazing kid that I thought it would be great to have a second girl. Then you popped out and pretty much the very first thing I saw about you was that you were a boy. Instantly, it didn't matter. You were my baby. It didn't matter if you were a boy, a girl, or a purple alien, I loved you. I remember the first week you were here. Daddy had gone back to work and came home and I was teary eyed as I told him how much I loved you and that I had no idea "it could be like this". Anne was such a hard transition that I was totally knocked off my feet by how much I loved you.

The first 6-9 months with you were pure bliss. I am pretty sure we never had a bad day. Transitioning to 2 kids was so much easier than transitioning to one and I know what helped was that you were a fantastic baby. You were Mr. Personality as soon as you learned how to smile.

You were always so happy and willing to play with anyone and everything. You were a great baby.

And now you are my big boy. You are still Mr. Personality and the life of the party. You are constantly trying to get people-specifically those you know well-to smile. You can start dancing and making funny faces just because we ask you too. You often do something beyond silly just to get other people to laugh. Spending time with you is easy because you are so funny, happy and sweet.

You are so good with your little sister too. You don't realize it, but she thinks you are the funniest person alive. When you're with her, she stares at you and just smiles up a storm. I've stood back, in the shadows, being quiet as a mouse because I love watching you interact with her so much. You'll play on your own, realize she's there, and crawl up to her get your face right in hers and make funny faces at her. She loves you so much she reaches out to you with her arms and hands, trying just to grab a piece of you to hold on to.

Next year you are going to preschool. I know I will miss you the 2 afternoons you are away, but I also know you are going to have a great time. You will be so happy making friends that you can later do play dates with. I know too, that the school you are going to will let you be you and let you run around and be silly and you will win over all your teachers just as you have always won over everyone who knows you. I'm looking forward to getting some time with you next year too. Anne will be in all day school so it will be so much fun to spend time with just me and my Bud. We'll have to go to the Children's museum, the zoo and story time, just you and me. I'm looking forward to getting to know you even better next year.

Jamie, I hope you know I love you so much. I think you are such a funny guy. I am so grateful that you had me the moment I laid eyes on you. But more than your funniness, I think you are such a sweetheart. I love that you are sensitive and think of others and that things can bother and hurt you. I hope that you always are able to keep your sweet heart soft so that you can continue to maintain this empathy. I am so lucky that I got you as my boy. I love you so much, you are my Handsome and I love you forever.

Love you lots Buddy,

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