I've always really liked this song but I have always wondered, would I really praise Him "when the darkness closes in"?
I've thought about it more this past weekend along with other things all revolving around what's going on with Libby. Today at church, we sang songs about God's Holiness and I sung along and made the concious decision that yes, today I would praise His name and call Him Holy. Even though this week hasn't gone as it was supposed to. Even though God has not answered my daily prayers the past 2 weeks or John's daily prayers or dozens and dozens of others who have prayed with us these past 2 weeks asking God to please heal Libby's body and let her come home with us. Libby needs another surgery and she will get it tomorrow. God's answer to my prayers the past 2 weeks, prayed with tears and often begging, is a no. No, not yet, He will not heal her. And as I've pondered on that the past 2 days I wondered, maybe He has said no to show me, to allow me the privilege of knowing, that I have no other choice but to praise Him in times of darkness. I know that what I am going through with Libby does not come close to other sufferings I could endure and I am grateful for His Grace and Mercy during this time. But His clear no to my prayers has tangibly shown me the darkness, the bad times, the times of wonder and questioning and it has shown me that He is still worthy of my praise and trust and devotion.
One thing that came to me during one of the very darkest days I've had so far during the past 3 weeks was that God would teach me to trust Him through this. I can see that His answer of no is teaching me that. I look forward to what lies ahead for me, for my family, for little Libby as she undergoes surgery tomorrow that will hopefully, at last, fix her and heal her and bring her home to us. I wonder if just maybe, like the Isrealites when the crossed the Red Sea, if I will look back and see His great power and fear Him and trust Him.
"So that day the Lord saved the Israelites from the Egyptians, and the Israelites saw the Egyptians lying dead on the seashore. When the Israelites saw the great power the Lord had used against the Egyptians, they feared the Lord, and they trusted him and his servant Moses."
~Exodus 14:30-31
Sunday, July 10, 2011
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