The past couple of weeks/months have been hard. Jamie has turned from a baby into a toddler and has discovered the joy of annoying his sister. Most days are spent breaking up fights between the two, consoling a hurt child, or saving someone from imminent death. Throw in housework, cooking dinner and errands and it's been a full-time job of go-go-go without, really, much time to sit down, breathe and smell the roses. I've come to realize in the past few days that it's been happening a lot that I get to the end of a day and although I've spent every waking moment with my children I haven't actually been with them. It's been glaringly obvious that the days of Jamie's babymoon, which (and this is probably a world record) lasted well over a year, are over.
Today I read Jamie his story for bed. He was reclined, almost prostrate as I rocked him because he had run into the corner of the desk and had a huge black and blue knot on his head (see-imminent death every other minute) and I was trying to keep an ice pack on it. I read him double the amount of stories as I normally do just to try and keep that ice pack on as long as possible. I looked down at this adorable little boy. He still has the chubbiest cheeks. I still bury my nose in his neck and smell his smell whenever I can. I love his toes and kiss them at every diaper change. He has chubby, fat legs and a big Buddha belly. And I thought all this over. And as I think multiple times a day-sometimes in the middle of complete chaos around me-that no, I wouldn't trade this. I wouldn't trade my children. I wouldn't go back to being single or not a mother. Not even for a few minutes. I love them too much. John and I want more kids with a passion. It's 100% for us. No question that we want more children in our lives, home, hearts, family. And I know that down the road when the chaos has tripled, and the noise levels are unbearable, and there are too many fights to break up and not enough hands or arms to do it, I still wouldn't trade it.
Thank you Lord for my family, for my husband, for my children. I am, indeed, so very blessed.