What is a blog? Well, wikipedia, the ever popular online encyclopedia defines it as this: "A blog (an abridgment of the term web log) is a website, usually maintained by an individual, with regular entries of commentary, descriptions of events, or other material such as graphics or video...Many blogs provide commentary or news on a particular subject; others function as more personal online diaries." So basically, a blog is someones ramblings of what's going on in their life, a private journal or diary posted in public for everyone to read.
So how far is too far? How much is too much? What is acceptable to post and what is not? Certainly in a real journal one would write about everything, without censorship. However, throwing the public aspect into the mix, one is now forced to sensor, at least to some degree. Should a blog just be the positive things in life and not the negative? Should the negative stuff be toned down so as not to offend anyone or to cause anyone any sort of "undue" pain. Should one refrain from writing about their parenting style, lest they offend someone of a different view point. Should one refrain from writing about tragedy in their life on the off chance it opens up wounds in someone else's life? Or more practically, should one just never write about anything negative that involves known individuals?
I am torn on this subject. I think most people know that I am an incredibly open person. To a fault actually. I will answer any question asked by any person, no matter the subject material or the venue. My poor husband has had to hear on a few occasions how I discussed our sex life in the middle of lunch at work simply because someone asked me about it. I have answered every question ranging from the above sex life, to my honest feelings about my family to what I think about abortion. I don't shy away from hardly any subject. Here on my blog I have been painfully honest at times, talking in great detail about my daughter and the struggles we have had. If she were to read this one day without being given background information first, no doubt she would probably not understand and be hurt. I have, however, for the most part at least tried, to refrained from writing about people that I know that might shed them in a negative light. For example, one personal rule that I try and abide by is I would never, and try to never, put my husband in a negative light. It is not my place to do that. It is not my place to complain about him or to nag about him to other people. Any problems we might have should be discussed between the two of us and very very few select, trusted friends.
So again, I find myself asking how far is too far? How much is too much to share? The answer seems obvious-I should be honest, but I should take into account my readership. I try not to blog about subjects that might cause hurt feelings or judgement. For instance, to put myself out there right now, I believe very strongly in natural childbirth and breastfeeding. Everyone who knows me knows this. For the most part I have refrained from writing about this however because 1. it hasn't come up in a matter that is blog-worthy but more importantly 2. I have and know many people who have not chosen these things for themselves and I choose not to write about it lest it seem I am somehow judging them. (For the record-I am not judging and I believe wholeheartedly that birth is a personal choice and what matters is that the mother makes a choice that is positive for herself and her baby. Sometimes that means epidural. Sometimes it means homebirth. There is a wide range of options here that I'm okay with.) Anyway, I seem to be babbling here.
It seems to be a fine, fine balance between being open and honest and hurting feelings or being too open and honest. How do you all draw the line on your personal blogs? Do you have any hard and fast rules?
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3 comments:
I enjoy sharing the good, and the bad parts of life. That's what makes people real. Life is not cookie cutter and perfect. It's nice to see that other people experience 'real' things.
I was a little astonished when I found out that TJ 'googled' me and found my blog. I wasn't quite sure if I was ready to share such personal information, but it's a representation of who I am. While I would not have chosen him to read all about my obsessiveness (etc) until later, it's part of me and I shouldn't be afraid to share it (even with everyone who 'googles' me, lol).
Wow, that is amazing to me since I was just having a conversation about blogs in general the other day. My view was that they are an extension of the "overexposed" generation where the norm is that all aspects of life are shared (think "Girls Gone Wild" in content of life as opposed to being a physical exhibistionist). Granted, I am over 30 so I am not a part of this generation so if I seem harsh, I don't mean to be, it's just that I have a different perspective on these things. I also have a blog but for me, I use it only as a diary or a post-post modern baby journal for my baby, with a few non-threatening extras thrown in. I was just as self-centered as any other teen or 20something when I was at that age, but there were not so many ways of making everything about me public. It appears that nothing is private on blogs in general. I think you have the right idea that you are not going to complain about your husband on the blog, as that would be sharing too much. But there is nothing wrong with wanting to share your views, likes, etc. But how do you handle stuff like when your daughter irritates you? Of course she does at times, all of our kids do and that's normal. But can she as a child of 2 or 8 or 12 or even 18 really know that and handle it without you informing her first and debriefing her after she's been read it on the blog? These are things I have to deal with too as my own daughter has, in my perspective, entered toddlerhood and there are many frustrating moments there!
I think all blog authors need to decide how far "out there" they are going to put themselves. I don't think that I censor myself in a bad way, but I do watch what I post. Personally, I don't want to post something in anger, just because I had a bad moment or a bad day. I know that my intense emotions come and go fairly quickly, so there is no need to write about it. (And if I choose to write, I do not publish it.) Since a lot of our extended, out-of-state family read my blog, I don't want to share "all of me" with them-or anyone. Especially since we don't see some of our relatives more than once a year (if that often) I know that I don't get much of a chance to explain myself and they don't ask me for follow up on a subject that I might have blogged about. I created our blog with the purpose of keeping those relatives out-of-state updated with what we're doing/what's going on with us.
As far as posting your opinions, I am a little torn. No one would ever want to hurt a friend who reads their blog with their opinions. On the other hand, they are most likely your friend because they either share a similar view OR as your friend, they respect the fact that you are allowed to have your own opinions.
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