Thank God Almighty I'm free at last

My first mother's day was 14 days after Anne was born. John asked me what I wanted and I told him that 1. I didn't feel deserving of something because I'd only been a mother for 14 days and 2. if I did want something, it would be a day off, alone from Anne and my husband. Anne was 14 days old. Baby blues were running rampant.

Now, almost 2 years later, I am still asking for that. Every birthday, every mother's day and lots of other days in between I ask John for a complete day off. Unfortunately because of naps, he isn't able to give that to me. Even when he takes her out for the morning, brings her back, she naps immediately and he plays a game on the computer, it isn't what I want. I want-no I need-the whole house to myself. So I can watch TV for 2 hours straight without feeling like I need to be accountable to someone else. So I can lay at the bottom of the shower for 20 minutes without wondering if Anne will wake up or come banging on the door. So I can go workout then spend the next hour eating a snack and reading a book instead of 10 minutes between the end of my workout and the end of her show scarfing yogurt as I watch the credits for a TV show roll by. What I need and want is what I had when I was single. Most days I miss being single. I miss the ability to do whatever I want, whenever I want without any accountability to anyone. I love John and I love Anne and I would never trade them. In fact, I never want to actually be single again. I love having a partner. But I desperately miss being single and without a child.

So today for the first time in 2 years, I am getting my wish. It hit me the other day after my friend Niki mentioned she had a day off, that when I take days off of work, Anne is with me and I take the days off because there was something unavoidable. It hit me that, hey, I can take a day off and she can still go to the babysitter's. So that's what's going on today. John took her to the sitter's about 30 minutes ago while I was in the shower. I have 10 glorious, complete hours to myself. I have my whole day practically planned. Several hours this AM cleaning and doing cleaning stuff I can never do when Anne is here. Maybe an hour in the afternoon doing some paperwork. Going out to run a few errands. And the kicker, going for a run with Winnie, coming home and laying on my butt reading the new Sophie Kinsella book until it's time to get Anne. I'm so excited. I've been looking forward to this day since I requested it off of work.

I'm going to turn off the computer soon. I don't want my addiction to it to ruin any of my plans. See you all on the flip side.