In case you haven't figured it out, I can spend a looong time obsessing and thinking about things. The past few months I have been thinking a lot about having another baby and what that's going to be like. The past week or so I have been thinking a lot about how many kids to have. I feel like I am finally getting back into a groove with Anne. I am finally working out on a regular basis, I have finally found a middle ground with doing paperwork for my job vs. doing what I want to do during her naps. Anne has been on a great nap schedule for the past year it seems and I know what to expect. She's slept through the night for the past year maybe having one night in 365 that she's woken up and needed comforting. So it's just hard to think about having another baby, or more accurately, more than one. I think I can deal with the first nine months of the new baby's life being chaotic. What gets me is starting to think about getting back in the groove w/ #2 and then having a third baby and having to get back in the groove, then a fourth. It seems to me that I would have nothing but 10 years of transition with only a few months every few years where I am finally back to me again. Also, right now I'm able to workout to DVDs while Anne watches Sesame Street. I'm able to take her with me to workout at the clubhouse. I can have 2-3 hours of alone, me time while she naps. How in the world can I do that with 2 or 3 or 4 kids? That is what worries me. I love what's going on right now. I am so thrilled and pleased with my working out and with my down time while she naps. I not only don't want to give it up but I'm afraid of what might happen if I do give it up.
Do any of you other mommies think about this stuff? How your life might change with more kids? Where you might go as a person with more kids? You mommies with more than one kid, how have you worked it out? Does it get back to "normal" or are you forever a slave to your children for the next 15 years simply because there are more of them now and thus less of you. I know that I have a very very very long time before I have to decide to have more than 2 kids. I have a very long time before I have a 2nd kid. I also know I can deal absolutely with 2 kids. It's the worrying about more than that that gets to me. Fortunately, like I said, I have a long time before John and I will have to finalize a decision on how big our family will be. Still I can't help but think about it...
About Me
- Atwood-Family of FIVE
- We are the Atwoods, Family of FIVE! John, April, Anne, Jamie, and Libby. Enjoy following our journeys as we figure out this life of marriage, children, family, and simple living.
4 comments:
I had many of the same thoughts April.It's true you finally get some freedom back and then with another child you loose it for a while.
I think life is always full of transitions. Children just bring them more frequently! It is good you are examining your personal goals and values. That will help you figure out what kind of atmosphere you want for yourself and your family.
Having baby number two has been difficult, but less of an adjustment for me then the first baby. My intense kiddo was my first. This first year is just hard. You know Peanut has finally adjusted to having Sweetpea around though. It only took her 11 months!
I find the hardest thing for me now is lack of free time. This is mainly because of Peanut dropping her nap and having sleep problems emerging. I had the same amount of free time with two as with one when they were both still napping. I was more tied to the house until I figured out how to manage two at once. I'm definitely more tired and expend more emotional energy now, but they are both still really little. I think I am just trying to stay as patient as I can knowing that some things will get easier.
Overall though I wouldn't trade it. Sweetpea has brought something so special to our family and I am so glad she is with us. I think next year she and Peanut will start to entertain each other more too. Sweetpea is easy like Anne. She'll just play near me if I need space.
I know I am at my limit though. I don't want to go for a third. Although I'm sure God would give me the grace to do it if I had to.
Our family didn't feel complete after just one baby, but now it does. I'm sure you guys will know what is right for your family as the years unfold.
Hi! As you know we are working on #3. There are a lot of times that I feel terribly overwhelmed at the thought of dealing with three. Then I felt that way about 2 as well.
Yes it is a giant adjustment. For everyone. It takes a while to hit a groove, but it is easier to find with the second than the first, at least it was that way for me. Coming from the woman who cried when my mom left because I did not think I could handle 2 kids. Maybe it is easier because you know what to expect. Maybe not. S is a very intense child. She is full of spirit and energy and I have learned to love her personality, even though at times it is all consuming. B is a sweet lovey boy. I'll be happy to do whatever I can at any time!
Ditto,
Ditto,
Ditto,
Ditto,
Ditto on EVERYTHING Heather mentioned.
Transition is hard for me, for sure. I'm 5 months into the transition to two children and I'm still trying to figure out how to have time for me. Other than that, we're pretty much adjusted, ha! It would help if M would sleep more than 1.5 hours at naptime. Anyway, one thing my MIL said to me when I was in an overwhelmed state was "they will get older." OK, I know that's pretty obvious, but hearing it made me realize that I'd been thinking/feeling like my babies would always be babies and therefore require all that babies require. BUT, that's not the case (good news!). Someday our oldest child/children will be able to take care of many things on their own and even help us with things we need done. They will also be in school much of the day. Having four 18-month olds around would be crazy, but having a 10, 7, and 4 and 1 year old around might not be as bad. Maybe?!?!
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