July 1, 2011
Goodbye June! You brought me my beautiful daughter. You brought me only the third time in my life that I have ever birthed a child-felt her body slide out and into this world. You brought me the sound of her cries, the emotion that overwhelms a new mother that is possibly the sweetest emotion one could ever have. You brought me such joy and pride the moment she was born. You brought me more love from others than I could have thought existed. You made me look to my God and Savior in a way I didn't think I could. I am grateful for these things and I know I will treasure those moments forever. But you also brought me more tears than I have ever cried. More helplessness than I have ever felt. More ache than should ever be. In your month, I slept alone without her. Cried alone without her. Made milk without giving it to her. Sat in her room, stroked her toys, wished her there, all, without her. I am happily bidding you goodbye and I am glad!
Hello July! This month you will bring my daughter back to me!! She will come home with us! She will sleep in her bed! She will live in our house! She will rest in my arms, on my chest, with ME! She will lay on my bed while I stroke her face! She will cry and I will pick her up immediately! I will be able to meet her needs! She will hunger and be filled! Our family will finally be complete and whole with her here! I welcome you July!! I welcome every day of you because you will bring my daughter to our home. Please hurry July! Please let every day pass quickly! Please be kind. Please bring good news, forward motion, encouragement, and hope. I cannot wait for you to unfold July.