Sunday, November 01, 2009

Andrina

Andrina is my niece. She is 15 months younger than Anne and 19 months older than Jamie. She fits right in between my kids. I see her regularly-even though my sister and I live an hour apart, we see each other-and our kids see each other-several times a month. Without any prompting, any reason at all, I love Andrina. She is my flesh and blood.


For whatever strange reason-my blood still surging with new mommy hormones (even though Jamie is 8 months old) and seeing things on the news and TV shows-I have thought a few times in the recent past about what would happen if, Heaven forbid, Andrina was left without parents and dropped on my doorstep? The oddest feeling has come over me whenever I have thought this because, without a second thought, faster than I can blink, faster even than my heart can beat, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, as I know I love my own children and would do anything for them, I know I would take Andrina in and raise her as my own, love her as my own, treat her as I treat my own. I say this is odd because by nature, I am a very selfish person. I often choose the easy way out, the way that is most comfortable, easiest and best for me. Only since having kids am I forced to do things that I wouldn't choose to do on my own, am I forced to put others' needs and wants ahead of my own. So you see, it would be, it is, against my nature to ever take in a child, take in extra work, worry, money, etc. So to know, really truly know deep in my gut, that I would take Andrina in in less time then it takes to breathe my next breath, that is a very strange feeling indeed...because as I said, it's against my nature and yet it is everything in my nature that allows me to know I would take her in and love her and let her be mine.


I love you Andrina, Love your Auntie April

1 comment:

Shellie said...

Andrina loves you too :) She's always pointing out your picture on my memory board and telling me "April". I always knew Tom and I made the right choice when we named you as (what's the correct term? Guardian) for the love of my life if anything ever happens to us.