Hope

You'd think me being "full" with child (all 1.5 inches of him/her), I'd be writing about my pregnancy. Nope. Running. The last post I wrote made me think about it and want to write about it. (**Disclaimer, this might be a long boring blog...**)

I started running 7 or 8 years ago. I started off slowly and it was nearly a year before I could run substantial mileage. But I was faithful to it, my plan being to never let more than 2 days pass between runs. I stuck to it and found a lot of joy in it. For 2 or 3 years my running was complete bliss. After I got substantial mileage, I would do long runs on the prairie path, my most memorable ones in fall. But others too. Ones in summer where it was so hot I would be pour sweat and an iced coffee never tasted so good. Ones in spring where it was finally warm enough to wear shorts and for the first time in months feel the outdoor air on my legs. And runs in the winter, where I had to dodge patches of ice or runs after a big snow where almost 100% of the time it feels warm and is sunny the next day. I loved running so very much. Then in 2004 I started to train for the marathon. Who knows why, I thought I had enough time and mileage under my belt, but as the training drew to a close, I injured my IT band. (That's a band of tissue that runs from your hip to your knee. When it gets too tight it can cause intense pain either in the knee or hip.) I didn't know what had happened so I rested for a few weeks and then because I dedicated almost 6 months to training attempted the marathon. I got 14 miles in and was in so much pain I was crying. I limped to the aid station waited an hour for a bus and then limped back to the car with my dad and John. It was bad. I rested for a while and then sought treatment. I went to a physical therapist, but after 6 weeks that didn't work. I iced, I rested, I elevated, I stretched, I bought gadgets and gizmos all promising to alleviate IT pain, I even got cortizone shots. Finally I found a sports chiropractor who helped me enough that I could run a mile or two without much pain. Then after just a few months, I got pregnant. I cut down on my running and by week 20 or so, I was done. I stopped running until 6 weeks postpartum and by that point I hadn't run for almost 6 months. The time off was enough that I could run again. Gingerly and scared but I could still run. Just as with when I started to run, it took me a good year to work myself up to 2 or 3 mile runs. And yet each run was ladened with fear and worry that I would throw myself back into IT pain. Mostly I did. I don't think I've really had a run since I injured myself where I didn't have some sort of IT pain. Nonetheless I was able to do 2 or 3 miles. Then I decided to try a 10 miler last fall. That did it. Even though I tried to gradually work up to it, it didn't matter and I injured myself again. Again, I tried resting, massage, the chiropractor again, and still pain. It got to the point where running for 4 minutes would cause pain and even going for a walk with the dog caused pain. Fed up I visited a sports surgeon. I had a lot of hope that surgery would fix this but the doctor was less than hopeful. He said that surgery only helped in 50% of the cases (I had read upwards of 85% of the time) and would cause a scar and 6 weeks of therapy. This surprised me because shouldn't he be chomping at the bit to do surgery? Anyway, discouraged I left and wasn't sure what to do. After a few more weeks of pain after just a few minutes of running, I decided to throw in the towel. I knew we would get pregnant again soon and I hoped that maybe taking a year off would heal it. So now, here I am. I haven't run in 3 or 4 months and I miss it so very much. I am hopeful that maybe a year off might heal the IT band. We'll see. I am going to try and incorporate some yoga into my exercise program as I've read that might help. And I have a book about how some injuries are so ingrained in your mind that you feel every little twinge and think it's the injury. That's probably true for me, so maybe reading that book will give me mind tricks to overcome this injury. If not, I will probably get surgery. I'm so fed up with not being able to run that I just want to do it again. Surgery is obviously far off though. It's at least a year off. Still, I long to run again and I hope that maybe this time my IT can heal enough that I can run 2 or 3 miles without pain...