So instead of posting a cute story or antic dote, I thought I'd try something different. I need some advice. As I was sitting in a meeting this morning, discussing baby troubles (I work with mom and babies after all), I had an overwhelming urge to have a home visitor so I could get some advice on a recent problem Anne has developed. So, I'll try it here; anyone who can add their two cents, it would be greatly appreciated. Here's the situation:
Anne has started getting very independent and autonomous. She freely explores, pulls things down, pokes my mouth, eyes and ears, claps with glee when she likes something and whines and cries when I put her down if she wanted to continued being held. She is a joy and I love her. However, parenting is SO not like the books. Her latest thing is that she has started spitting. Where she picked this up, I don't know. Mostly she does it when she eats, which is where it really gets me. If I feed her anything she doesn't like, or if she's done eating and I have the audacity to try and give her another bite, she spits the food out at me. Not just pushes it out of her mouth, full fledged spitting, it spatters all over my face, hair and clothes. Fortunately it is usually a small amount but annoying nonetheless. This poses a problem for a lot of reasons:
1. It is a nasty habit.
2. I want her to eat a balanced meal, not just grilled cheese and yogurt like she'd choose for herself.
3. It is hard for me to let go of my analness and obsessiveness and accept she has a right (?) to not like something.
I have no clue what to do. I don't know if I should try and "teach" her to eat the food I give her through various forms of discipline ("No, no" etc.), if I should end the feeding (which opens a whole 'nother can of worms-what if it's her first bite and I know she's hungry?), if I should just cater to her and give her what I know she'll eat, or some other solution I haven't thought of yet.
Feel free to let me know your thoughts. Those without kids, your solutions will be accepted as well. Feel free to pass this question along to any friends too. Thanks so much Mamas and others who love and know kids and babies.
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3 comments:
oooooo, I can add something here! I have much experience dealing with these little kiddos and their behaviors (as minor as they may be).
Try and have 2 choices of food on her tray (maybe one preferred and one non-preferred). It sounds like she knows what she likes and what she doesn't like. Then let her pick which one she wants to eat from first. If she refuses the non-preferred food, tell her she needs to eat one bite of peas for example, then she can have a couple of bites of grilled cheese. So, she gets rewarded with the yummy food, and she feels in control because she has choices. Let me know how it goes!
We had the exact same problem, April. It was a "passing" fad, thankfully, but we decided not to fight it. First, we tell Drew that spitting is not good. But then we have an alternative food available to him. If he continues spitting with a certain food, then that drops off the rotation. Just remember, with very limited verbal skills, there's not many other ways they can communicate dislike. We may be more laid back on this issue than others, but not making a huge deal out of it seems to have helped it pass quickly.
Rick
Well we didn't have the spitting problem but we certainly encountered picky eating once Juliette crossed that one year mark. She would sometimes push the food out of her mouth (sometimes still does--she's learning not to now). It seemed more like an automatic reaction then a decision. She did go through a brief throwing food stage...I would promptly remove the food or remove her from the table for just a few minutes. That seemed to work for her.
I did not make a big deal about the food choices. Offering a variety of foods in one sitting has sometimes helped. Also, offering the food in a fun or funny containers (like an egg carton or an oversize tupperware container)sometimes helps.
My doctor reminded me that she doesn't need a balanced diet all in one meal or even in one day, but more like over the course of several days.
Juliette did not understand taking a bite of one thing in order to get another until very recently...I'd say right around her 2 year mark. I think Lily got the hang of that many months earlier then Juliette. The only other strategy I was told about was to put the food in front of her and if she doesn't eat what I give her then she doesn't eat anything. I guess this generally works after a few days. My problem with that was that Juliette, like me is a total basket case when she's hungry so then she in tears and cranky and disobedient--just because she is hungry. So I think this will come down to what works for you and Anne. You can try a few things and see what happens.
I generally pick a strategy get very consistent for several days and then reevaluate if I need to change or just keep trying.
Oh and to reasure you...I used to worry a lot about the nutrition issue. Juliette is now adding food back into her diet including vegetables (which she had totally given up) because now she wants to try new things and we can reason with her more.
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