So, I have a problem and it' time to admit it. I'm an internet-aholic. In the morning, a within a few minutes of waking, I want to check my 2 emails and blogs. I do this within an hour of waking and spend about half an hour on the internet. For the rest of the day, I go on the internet at least half a dozen more times, for no less than 15 minutes each time. My internet use interferes with caring for Anne. I'll be in the middle of playing with her when I suddenly remember I must update my netflix queue. Or I will be so engrossed in checking what's new on Amazon that time gets away from me and before I know it it's time for her nap. When she goes down for a nap, I immediately head for the computer to check my email, look on blogs (sometimes of people I don't even know!) or to do any other sort of mindless, ridiculous thing that adds no meaning to my life. Every time I walk away, I chastise myself, wishing I had spent my time more productively. On days when my use is excessive, I berate myself and feel guilty. On days when I kept it under control, I feel better about myself. I have known for a long time that I need to do something to keep this under control.
Today I was taking a walk and praying about being a better mom to Anne. In the middle of my monologue to God, I started talking about my computer use and how, out of anything else, this stands in the way of me feeling like I'm a good mom to her. That's when it hit me that I need to do something drastic. So I decided, for the rest of lent I will give up the internet. Not completely, I couldn't do that, just as I couldn't go a month without talking to another human being. But I decided I will limit myself to one time a day-in the morning-to checking my email and doing whatever else I want on the internet. One time. That's it. Computer gets shut down afterwards. I know I will go through withdrawl. Just thinking about giving this up, I am getting anxious and thinking up excuses on why I need to check more often. But, I think this might be the first thing for lent that I will give up that truly means something to me. I hope that through this huge cut back I am able to focus more on my daughter, get more things done around the house, and maybe, just maybe, spend some more time in prayer and devotion like I used to.
Well, Lord, help me out. This is for You.
See you all on the flip side (but I'm sure that I'll still be able to fit blogging in every few days.)
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3 comments:
Yeah, been there. There are days it's really bad. I think it's the way of our generation here in the states. The internet is so interwoven with our daily lives...I was just talking to my sister about this. The computer is like the phone & tv used to be for our parents only we do even more with it...pay bills, order food/products, communicate with friends, check the news, listen to music, etc...
I won't recommend any blogs to you right now since your abstaining...but I'm tempted to!
I'll pray for you as you give this up. It's hard! I know that most of the times I get super frustrated with the girls is when I'm trying to do something for me--which is often computing related. I am working on timing it better.
Spring & summer will be easier--you'll want to be outside more and Anne will love that too!
I hear ya! I had a couple months that I was CONSTANTLY online. Like you said, I'd check my mail and blogs and then, a little bit later, even though I knew that nothing could possibly have changed or be new, I'd still check it again...and again...
Heather's right, with the weather getting warmer, it will get easier to stay away from the computer! We're at the end of a LONG winter and are all feeling the effects of cabin fever.
I admire you for giving it up for Lent, it's a hard one! I'll also be praying for you! :)
Thanks for all your support and understanding guys! We'll see if can make it stick. I sure hope so! (This is my allotted once a day on the internet. I'm trying to limit it to half an hour.)
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